Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
