Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
