The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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