My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
