I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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