I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she peed on how many people?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
