im holly from the hills drunk
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
