I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
