The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
