So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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