Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
