The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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