**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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