Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
