You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
