I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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