My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
