well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize