Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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