I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
