You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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