So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
