I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
