Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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