I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Welp...herpes.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
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