I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
