allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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