she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
