And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
