Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize