Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
