seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
