i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
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By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
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