kristin has been a bad kristin
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
