today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
