I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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