Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
