You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
