Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
