i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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