There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
