Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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