Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Randomize
