Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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