She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
In America we eat man semen.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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