Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Randomize
