ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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