Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you still have your period?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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