I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
