May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
