I've blown a few things in my day
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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