he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
