When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
