need another drink. this is the easiest way
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i will never coherently bang her
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
