It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
