I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize