"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
