I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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