Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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