It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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