Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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