Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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