Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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