i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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