I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
