theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
