Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
