Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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