Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
