Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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